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Complain, Complain, Complain… then Find Your Goal. It’s a Gift. Write it down!

Inside every complaint is the gift of a goal not yet realized…

If you find yourself repeating the same complaint over and over again, and people are asking you to stop, maybe you should. Stop. Write down that complaint and take a look at it. What are you unhappy about? Your job? The weather? Your spouse? Write that down.

Photo by Cappixx

Now, take a look at what you’ve written because there’s a gift in that complaint. Yes, you read that right, there’s a gift in every complaint, a special gift, just for you. It’s called “a goal.” The goal is what you do want. Sometimes we need to ask ourselves what we don’t want before we arrive at what we do want.

You see, we’re told not to complain because other people don’t want to hear about it. Complaining can make us and everyone around us feel pretty bad. Who wants to listen to how bad things are all day long? Certainly not me.

Photo by Cappixx

However, complaints can be very helpful if you look for the gift within them. It’s the gift of knowing what you don’t like about the world, about your world. Unhappy with your job? What kind of job would you like? Not sure? Not sure what you want out of life? Well… Take a look at your complaints. In fact, complain away! Yes, I’m suggesting you complain! Not to other people, of course, but to yourself.

Photo by Cappixx

Write that down. I mean, write down that complaint. If you have lots of complaints, then great! Write them all down in as much detail as possible. In fact, write them down everyday if you need to. Keep writing until you find the gift. The gift is… THE GOAL.

Ta-da! You thought I was being facetious or silly when I suggested you complain, complain, complain, didn’t you!

Nope, I’m telling you what you need to hear if you are genuinely suffering in a life that you don’t want, a life you didn’t choose. Maybe you are working at a job you hate, living with others with whom you are not compatible, in a city where you’re very unhappy, or heaven forbid, your health is not what you’d like it to be.

Complain away! (But not to other people. Complain to yourself.) Why? Because when we complain, we’re telling ourselves what we don’t want, and that can be very useful because it leads us toward finding out what we do want. It also informs us that we’re unhappy with something, so we’d really like change, but we feel powerless to create that change. That’s why we complain. We complain because we don’t think things will change, and we’re hoping someone else out there will help us by, at least, giving us some sympathy.

Painting by Meria Cairns

Honestly, I wish someone would magically appear and help you if you are unhappy so that you could be happy. Not just because I’m a nice person (although I am… but then I’m also pretty biased in this self-judgment. Ha ha!) But I personally believe that when people are happy they are at their best and are less likely to cause problems in the world. Frankly, the world is a better place when most people are happy. (This should be common sense, but, judging by the many injustices of this world, it is, apparently, not common sense, so it must be stated here.) A happy person is not likely going to burn down another person’s house, or to rape, rob or kill anyone. Happy people tend to be peaceable people. For all you people out there who value money over people: Happy people save our society money! Yes, a happy person is more likely to take care of her health and not to cost our insurance companies or hospitals as much money. Happy people are more likely to work honestly and do the best job they can. They make better employees, better spouses, better neighbors, better friends. Happy people are easier to be with because… ehem… they tend not to complain.

Huh? But you said…

Okay, just hear me out. Read on, my virtual friend.

So… how can you be one of those happy people?                                              Click here to read the rest of this awesome blog!