Tag Archives: Meria

Complain, Complain, Complain… then Find Your Goal. It’s a Gift. Write it down!

Inside every complaint is the gift of a goal not yet realized…

If you find yourself repeating the same complaint over and over again, and people are asking you to stop, maybe you should. Stop. Write down that complaint and take a look at it. What are you unhappy about? Your job? The weather? Your spouse? Write that down.

Photo by Cappixx

Now, take a look at what you’ve written because there’s a gift in that complaint. Yes, you read that right, there’s a gift in every complaint, a special gift, just for you. It’s called “a goal.” The goal is what you do want. Sometimes we need to ask ourselves what we don’t want before we arrive at what we do want.

You see, we’re told not to complain because other people don’t want to hear about it. Complaining can make us and everyone around us feel pretty bad. Who wants to listen to how bad things are all day long? Certainly not me.

Photo by Cappixx

However, complaints can be very helpful if you look for the gift within them. It’s the gift of knowing what you don’t like about the world, about your world. Unhappy with your job? What kind of job would you like? Not sure? Not sure what you want out of life? Well… Take a look at your complaints. In fact, complain away! Yes, I’m suggesting you complain! Not to other people, of course, but to yourself.

Photo by Cappixx

Write that down. I mean, write down that complaint. If you have lots of complaints, then great! Write them all down in as much detail as possible. In fact, write them down everyday if you need to. Keep writing until you find the gift. The gift is… THE GOAL.

Ta-da! You thought I was being facetious or silly when I suggested you complain, complain, complain, didn’t you!

Nope, I’m telling you what you need to hear if you are genuinely suffering in a life that you don’t want, a life you didn’t choose. Maybe you are working at a job you hate, living with others with whom you are not compatible, in a city where you’re very unhappy, or heaven forbid, your health is not what you’d like it to be.

Complain away! (But not to other people. Complain to yourself.) Why? Because when we complain, we’re telling ourselves what we don’t want, and that can be very useful because it leads us toward finding out what we do want. It also informs us that we’re unhappy with something, so we’d really like change, but we feel powerless to create that change. That’s why we complain. We complain because we don’t think things will change, and we’re hoping someone else out there will help us by, at least, giving us some sympathy.

Painting by Meria Cairns

Honestly, I wish someone would magically appear and help you if you are unhappy so that you could be happy. Not just because I’m a nice person (although I am… but then I’m also pretty biased in this self-judgment. Ha ha!) But I personally believe that when people are happy they are at their best and are less likely to cause problems in the world. Frankly, the world is a better place when most people are happy. (This should be common sense, but, judging by the many injustices of this world, it is, apparently, not common sense, so it must be stated here.) A happy person is not likely going to burn down another person’s house, or to rape, rob or kill anyone. Happy people tend to be peaceable people. For all you people out there who value money over people: Happy people save our society money! Yes, a happy person is more likely to take care of her health and not to cost our insurance companies or hospitals as much money. Happy people are more likely to work honestly and do the best job they can. They make better employees, better spouses, better neighbors, better friends. Happy people are easier to be with because… ehem… they tend not to complain.

Huh? But you said…

Okay, just hear me out. Read on, my virtual friend.

So… how can you be one of those happy people?                                              Click here to read the rest of this awesome blog!

Need Help Solving Life’s Problems? Boost Your Intelligence!

Boost Your Intelligence

Have a lot of problems in your life? Boost your intelligence so that you’ll have the tools you’ll need to solve them.

Why not? If you’re smarter, then, logically, you’ll have more intellectual tools for solving your own problems, right? (Well, it hasn’t always worked for me… but… generally speaking, being smarter can only make one more resourceful.)

Strengthening our minds can make us much better problem solvers and give us the tools to find resources we may not have guessed could exist. If nothing else, watching our intelligence increase can boost our self confidence, and that can help us to communicate better with others and form better quality relationships.

How to boost intelligence?

Well, simply thinking about small problems and all the potential causes and effects can get us started. For example, a tree falls in the wilderness—a small problem for me at the moment, as I’m nowhere near the wilderness. But…

Why? How? When? Where? The unimaginative and blissfully complacent nonthinkers may respond with, “That’s just the way it is. Trees fall after a while,” then move onto mindlessly watching yet another TV sitcom.

Oy vay! (Spell check?)

Yes, a tree could have grown old and fallen but why would growing old cause it to fall? Do all trees fall when they grow old? How old is old? Does the wood of the tree get dry and brittle? What causes that? Is the tree less able to absorb nutrients and moisture in its old age? Are there trees much older that haven’t fallen yet, that are doing better? Why?

Maybe it’s not an old tree at all. Maybe it’s a new tree. Maybe a draught caused the tree to become dry and brittle. Maybe the tree got sick. Do trees catch viruses the way humans do? Bacterial infections? Or possibly insects or rodents harmed this tree?

Do trees get injured? Could it have been struck by lightening and never quite recovered? Was it bitten up into despair by nature’s creatures?

We an continue to ask questions about why it fell, how it fell, and even speculate on how to prevent other trees from falling, ways to save dying trees or what to do with trees once they fall. We can even study the aftermath of the tree’s fall to see how it might affect human life surrounding it. Could whatever caused the tree to fall also harm humans?

So many questions. Why ask them? This inquisitive practice can teach us to seek solutions, to solve problems. Developing this skill enables us to apply it to areas of our own life. The more we develop our imagination and practice deep contemplation and focus, and the more we question our current reality, the more likely we are to find solutions everywhere we go. That skill can be life-saving in times of trouble.

Read more about overcoming obstacles at  http://www.lipstickoffapig.tumblr.com/

The Land of the Gigs, Musical Apathy & Hecklers

It’s a land where most of us musicians gravitate toward—this Land of the Gigs.

It’s good land, but

photo by Cappixx

it’s not inexpensive, and it does have its hazards. We seek it out ‘cause we like to play, and we want others to listen to us play. Not sure why, but a lot of us do. Those of us who write songs are communicating our sorrow, angst or joy. Maybe we’re telling a story. It may be personal. It may just be a silly, shallow bunch of words we put together for lyrics to make our song. But it’s our baby, that song. And we’re sharing it with you. You may not like it. Maybe it’s boring. Possibly it’s not well-written. Perhaps we shouldn’t share it with you at all? But it’s a part of us that we’re sharing with you and it’s something you won’t find anywhere else. Like a small, locally-owned family business, we undiscovered musicians are unique to your city or town. We reflect our surroundings–both our inner mental and our exterior physical environments affect our songwriting and performing. That reflection will always be unique–for better or worse. You won’t find it at Walmart and you won’t find it on corporate-consoled mainstream radio. You’ll only find it here, and if we aren’t allowed to perform publicly, you may never hear it again.

I find it inspiring to play in front of an enthused crowd, but it’s also demoralizing to play in front of an unenthused crowd.

An unenthused audience can prompt the performer to work harder at grabbing attention and pleasing a picky audience. Frankly, you the audience are casting your vote when you choose not to listen. What you’re telling the musicians and the venue is: “We don’t want to hear it, and we don’t like it!” When you choose not to see local musicians perform but to pay a lot of money to hear national acts instead you’re casting your vote for the national acts. You’re making a statement that says, “We don’t want local musicians to play at our venues. We only want to hear music performed by famous people.” Hey, that’s okay. No worries. Your choice. You like what you like, right?

Just know that you are making a choice. You are casting a vote. Just

photo by Cappixx

like no one forces you to shop at Walmart when you could support local businesses instead, no one forces you to support local artists and musicians either. Do you want musicians in your area or would you rather they pack up and just go somewhere else? People, you decide. It’s all about you!


Read the rest of this absolutely titillating blog at http://www.guitargrrrl.com/blog-2/

A World Without Music…

You click on I-tunes–only to discover that all the channels that used to play music have disappeared. You return to your computer files where you’d saved mp3’s of your favorite songs, but notice that all the music files are gone!

Horror of horrors!

In a desperate attempt to hear sounds other than the sound of your own breathing and your fingers tapping on the computer keyboard, you double-click on Firefox, open up the Youtube url and search for your favorite songs.

Nothing. Gone. No more sound on Youtube. Too many copyright violations. And the owners of the sounds have taken back their music, never to share it again…

So you turn on a good, old-fashioned radio. Surely, that’ll work. Uh…

No signal. Not even static. Nothing.


OMG (as they type across the blogosphere,) this can’t be happening!

You run outside to your car. …

(This is an excerpt from my music blog at http://www.guitargrrrl.com/blog/articles/  )

Read the rest of this blog entry (and more) at:    http://www.guitargrrrl.com/2016/06/26/a-world-without-music/